Let's buckle down and face the truth here: cheese is SO 2009. Everybody knows that ice is where it's at! That's why resident fasionisto, Fupar, is going to use ice for all his cheese-related meals for now on, you know, for the sake of art or something.
On Monday, he'll eat macaroni and ,
cheese ice. After boiling the macaroni and draining the water, he'll add a little bit of milk and butter, and then dump in the ice. It will give his meal a very fashionable, cold, soggy, lumpy texture, but the presentation will be fantastic.
On Tuesday, he'll create a grilled
cheese ice sandwich. He'll chip a tooth, but later that day, it will all pay off because when he goes to the bathroom, his pee will be a little clearer than it otherwise would have been, although the amount of ice he consumed is barely negligible enough to make a significant difference there.
On Wednesday, Fupar is going to try chips with melted nacho
cheese ice, but all it will do is make his chips soggy. Fupar doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who likes soggy chips. Soggy chips aren't fashionable. At this stage in his replace-cheese-with-ice journey, Fupar will question himself. He will wonder if he's doing the right thing. Fupar cares about fashion, but to get his mind off of fashion for a change, he will turn on the television.
Moopie, the world famous style expert will inform Fupar that ice is no longer the new cheese. Suicide is now the new cheese. Feeling hungry, Fupar will kill himself.
Now he knows.
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