What if the Obnoxious Asian Dude from Iron Chef America Decided on a Career change?

"So America, with an open heart and an empty stomach, I say unto you in the words of my uncle, ALLEZ CUISINE!"

Sure, he looks like he's having the time of his life, but in reality, the "chairman" is sick of doing Iron Chef. He only studied martial arts because his father wanted him to, and now he feels silly. His real life dream is to be a librarian. Everyday, when he comes home from work, he secretly studies referencing and methods for directing browsers to the right section of books. He even knows how to order new books for the library, and he is really psyched up about the whole thing. Tomorrow his last episode airs. Today, he has a job interview, at the Middleton Public Library. You are the interviewer.

"Mr Dacascos." you say. "It is a pleasure to meet you, I'm a huge fan. Tell me, though, Are you sure that this is what you want to do?"

"Of course!" he loudly exclaims. "I've wanted to be a librarian my whole life! I LOVE libraries!"

A few people behind him say "shhhh" in an utterly stereotypical fashion.

He grabs two books, looks like he's going to open one, but then opens the other.

You look him in the eyes. "It's just that..." You say with a meek, face-saving look in your face, "It's just that...librarians tend to have more...subdued personalities."

"Oh" he says. "Oh, I see."

He looks down at the floor, crushed. You can't stand to see him like that. He just sits there that way for a few moments, and you, being the timid person that you are, finally gather enough courage to speak again.

"Look," you say, "Maybe I'm being too judgmental."

He looks up surprised and wipes away his wet cheeks. "Really?"

"Really. You start Monday next week."

"THANK-YOU!" he screams at the top of his lungs. On the way out the building, he does two somersaults and a cartwheel. Then, he karate-kicks the reference section.

You expect him to scare away all the old ladies. He does. However, he also brings in all the children with his vibrant personality. He will be assigned to the children's library and do a fantastic job until he reaches the five year mark. That's when he'll be fired for accidentally elbowing a kid in the face while reading Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends.

Now you know.