What if the Law didn't Apply to You?

You're going 85 in a 60, drunk, sick and careless. As you swerve across the bold, yellow lines, the blueish, reddish, bluish, reddish, lights of a police car flash behind you. Sure, you don't have to pull over, but you feel it's the polite thing to do. After all, the officer doesn't know your situation. He pulls his car up to you on the rear left hand side of you. He walks up to you funny, like he has a bad case of hemorrhoids or something.

"Do you know how fast you were going?" the officer says.

"Why yes I do," you reply, "but I think there's something you should know before you continue. with your little talk here..."

"You were going 85 in a 60!" he interrupts.

"Well, now, see I realize that, but there's something you need to know."

"And you were swerving all over the road! Have you been drinking?"

"Why now, yes officer, yes I have. Heavily." you add. "But you really need to understand something."

He puts a sarcastic smile on his face. "Oh, there's something I need to know, is there? And what is it that I need to know? What could possibly be so important that me pulling you over and arresting you for endangering the lives of all these people has to wait?"

"Well, officer. The law doesn't apply to me."

At first he breaks out laughing. That's when you show him the papers.

"This one," you say, "was signed for me by my parents when I was first born. It was a legal document nullifying the social contract. My parents refused to give me a birth certificate or a driver's license or anything. In fact, this isn't even my car."

"Who's car is it?" he carefully studies you with his eyes.

"Some guy's," you reply. "I dunno. I stole it."

"That wasn't very nice." says the officer.

"Yeah, he was pretty upset when I first told him, but after I told him the law doesn't apply to me, he seemed to understand."

The officer scratches his head. "Well," he says. "Given the circumstances, I guess I can't technically arrest you because you aren't technically from here. Just try not to speed so much because you're putting lives at risk."

"hmm. Maybe. I'll think about it." you say.

You're such a jerk. You drive away proud, thinking you've won. Little do you know he's called the INS on you to have your technically illegal alien ass deported. So...have fun in Mexico.

Now you know.