You're really mixing it up at this block party. A daft punk tribute band is there, singing in autotune, and everybody is having a hopping time drinking and rocking out. Everyone except you. You're insistent on "proving" how smart or cool you are by comparing things as similar that really aren't.
"Oh, you swim?" You say. "I don't swim, but I play video games. The two are a lot alike."
The athletic woman you're talking to goes along with your bull crap, but only to be nice.
"You see, swimming is very graceful, but people don't realize that it requires a lot of work, like calisthenics and leg shaving. Video games are like that too. It takes grace, but it takes work. You have to stretch your fingers every day or they'll cramp up. I'm also thinking of shaving my nuckles so they can move faster. Real gamers are hardcore like that, am I right?"
She's gone. She left about at the word "stretch". She, however, isn't going to stop you in your quest to use bad analogies.
"Oh, you like drinking, eh? I don't drink much, but I fish. You'd be surprised how similar the two are. Like...like. When you fish, most of your time is spent waiting for the fish, but when it happens, boy oh boy is it awesome. Just like drinking. It's boring until you start to get buzzed, but watch out when its throw up time! That's no fun. That's how I know. If I throw up, it's time to stop fishing."
The guy was never listening to you. You just like the illusion that people care. But they don't. They never do, and you just keep telling yourself that there must be a reason. C'mon. Admit it. You know, don't you? You have to know why, don't you? I mean, how could you not? Just quit being a jerk already.
Now you know.
No comments:
Post a Comment